Saturday, November 15, 2008

Planning concerns

I want a lovely and elegant wedding. I want family & friends to have a good time and feel as if they participated in something special. I hope that Wade & I can soak in every possible minute of the day.

But I do wonder what some people's budgets are. I know it's incredibly rude to ask, so I don't. But I would like to ask what someone else spent. I know of a friend whose fiancé spent over $6000 on her ring. And they're still in undergrad at universtiy. My tuition for a year in undergrad was about $5000. I can't imagine spending more than a year's tuition on a ring when I was in school. I wonder what they spent on their wedding, with a $6000 ring. Of course, I know better than to ask.

(Editorial note: the cost of a ring is relative to what the groom can afford. I don't subscribe to the "2 months" ideology, but obviously someone making 6 figures would spend more than a student.)

As for our budget, we could probably afford to increase our budget. But we won't. We set our budget based on what we could easily afford and what we were willing to spend. (Of course, we're prepared for a small overrun, but that's smart with any budget.) Why are we only spending what we could easliy afford? We want a good day, a lovely and elegant wedding, and we want family & friends to have a good time. That's it. And I think I can do that with our budget. I also don't want to look back at pictures and think something looked tacky, so I'm willing to splurge on a few things. Sure, something might look outdated, but that's what happens with the passage of time. I don't want the chairs to look tacky, for example, so I'm prepared to rent chair covers. But will I spend thousands of dollars to ensure I have "event quality lighting"? No, of course not.

Trends don't bother me. I don't want to be "trendy", but there are trends I like. For example, cathedral length veils are a current trent. And I happen to love the look of cathedral length veils. That length was not "in" 30 years ago when my parents married, so it is a current trend. That being said, some women wore cathedral length veils when it was not "in". And that's okay, too! Another trend I like: the long white dress. I like this trend, first set by Queen Victoria. Just a few generations ago, the bride wore her best dress. In fact, my Nanny wore a coloured dress when she was married near the start of World War II. Nothing wrong with that! But I want to wear the long white dress.

But here's why I am not worried about trends:

Look at this "dated" wedding. Definitely not "in" now. And look how happy the bride & groom are!

One day, our our family will look back at a dated photo like this one, and smile because of how dated it looks:

Unfortunately, I do now know either of these lovely couples. I just found them on the internet. Perhaps at some point I'll scan some family wedding photos. But aren't they lovely pictures? And don't these pictures tell a story about those two couple's weddings, despite being "dated" and possibly "trendy" weddings at their time?


The Pissed Off Bride said...

Me too( wonder budgets)!!!

Our budget is about $25,000. Cringe, because that is still considered a budget in wedding world. We have been saving for about a year and a half for our "budget" wedding.

Krista said...

$25,000 is NOT a budget wedding, IMO!

Lisa said...

It's crazy how much weddings cost.

I watch "Say Yes to the Dress" and I'm amazed at how much people spend on their wedding gowns! I often wonder what their overall wedding budget is like too.

Amy@Fiancé Meeting You Here said...

It is absolutely ridiculous. Even the budget reception sites that I looked into were still almost as much as the place we ended up going with. That has been our biggest expense, but I think it's going to make the whole day. I'm trying to stay under 15k, but it's going to be very tight. We are not paying for it all ourselves so we've broken it down into 5k divided 3 different ways (so far) but I'm still not prepared for all of the last minute costs. I'll hopefully be posting about our budget soon!

Cyd said...

The budget thing gives me heartburn! We were trying to keep it at $10K or less and now it looks like we'll be lucky to keep it at $12K. I keep rerunning my spreadsheets over and over trying to make cuts, but I'm just not certain where to make them at this point. We still have a lot of final decisions to make so a lot of my numbers are estimates...which could be a good or a bad thing, because I can only imagine if I'm wrong on our estimates in a negative way. Ay yi yi.