Friday, October 10, 2008

Say Yes to the Dress? ... Say whaaaat?

Another guilty pleasure: the show "Say Yes to the Dress" on TLC.

I just watched the most ridiculous episode. One bride brought her parents, her fiancé, and her fiancé's parents. Okay, kinda weird, but to each her own. Her parents were moderately critical, his parents were moderately critical, and he was an absolute jerk.

She wore a trumpet style. He thought it made her butt look big.
She wore a ballgown with ruching. He thought the ruching looked like the gills on a fish.
She wore beads. He thought it was too beaded.
She wore simple. He thought it was too plain.
She wore an A-line. He thought it was too pouffy.
Another A-line. Not pouffy enough.

When the consultant asked what looked good about the second last gown, in front of both their parents, he declared that the only good feature about one dress was that her boobs looked good.

If any man said that in front of my parents, I would be livid. Her parents should have been offended, or at least embarassed. His parents should have been ashamed that their son would say something like that in public.

And how did they react? The mothers both giggled, as if he was a naughty boy. Why do we accept such sexism? Granted, editing can leave out the remainder of conversations preceeding that comment, as well as the conversations that followed. That was, at best, a private comment; but given the audience, it was a sexist comment. He knew he was being filmed for a show.

How do we, as women, tolerate such blatant sexism? I am not about to suggest a feminist tirade on all men all the time, but when someone close to you says something that is inappropriate, please politely and calmly let them know that such comments are inappropriate.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is for good men to do nothing."
(I realize the irony of using a gender-specific quotation; however, I am comfortable quoting 'men' because at that time it was used to refer to all people.)


Cyd said...

Um, I too am a complete Say Yes to the Dress junkie. I admit it...and I also admit to wishing I could afford a single of the dresses they tease me with weekly.

At any rate, I don't believe I've seen that episode, but I do believe I would be spitting at the tv in anger if I had. I'm really just so fed up with sexists and bigots these days it's less and less easy to stay calm about things.

Krista said...

I am always floored by the budgets the brides have!

Guilty Secret said...

Hmmm, I'm confused. Why is it sexist to tell a woman that the only part of her that a dress flatters is her boobs? Would it be sexist if I told Baddie "those trousers make your bum look great but your legs look funny" or "it looks great across the chest but it makes your belly look fat"?

I understand he/you might find that offensive or inappropriate, but would it be sexist? I am genuinely confused because I can't imagine ever being offended if I tried on a dress and asked Baddie's opinion and his response was that it looked good across the bust but not elsewhere. I might be embarrassed at him drawing attention to my boobs in front of my/his/our parents, but I honestly don't see it as sexist.

Obviously having not seen the show, I could be completely misinterpreting the whole thing, but I'm interested to hear what you think :)

Krista said...

Good question. Basically, the issue I have is that he would feel fine making such a comment in front of those family members. His tone of voice also can't be conveyed. He was like oogling, well your BOOBS look good in it.

You're right, if he was just saying that her boobs (or butt, or whatever) looked good in it, it would not be sexist. It would just be an honest observation. It was the fact that his tone of voice was so ... weird. He was condescending, and seemed to be treating his fiancee like she was property that he got to dress how he liked.

Does that explain it better? It's not just what he said, but the context, and how he said it.

Guilty Secret said...

Thanks, Krista. Yes, that does explain it. I had a feeling it might have been more about his tone and the context.

Krista said...

Thanks for asking! It's an important distinction ... Then there's the loaded question: "does this make my butt look fat?" Haha ... I don't know if I've ever asked Wade that question, though!

Zinnia said...

Good for people to know.