Monday, October 27, 2008

Bridal Party

In my blog-stalking (and I do a lot!), I have come across other brides (and occassionally grooms) who are confused by the idea of the bridal party. Not the idea of having bridesmaids and groomsmen, but rather the idea of forcing people to wear (sometimes expensive) matching outfits, pay a lot of money (through hosting bridal showers, throwing bachelor / bachelorette parties), and just generally run errands for the bride & groom.

I respect that some people do not want to ask friends to make such a commitment. And frankly, that is not what I would ask my friends to do.

I view the bridal party as unofficial cheerleaders.

Of course, I don't expect the bridesmaids to wear cheerleader skirts. And neither Wade nor I expects the groomsmen to wear any skirts! I mean cheerleaders in that the bridesmaids are there to support me (and the groomsmen to support Wade) on our wedding day.

Here's why I want a bridal party:
1. They may help me plan / do little diy craft projects
2. They will calm me down if I get upset, emotional, or irrational*
3. They will get ready with me
4. They will hopefully have fun getting ready with me
5. They will officially stand up with me when I get married

Though I know everyone who will attend our wedding is there to support Wade and me on our wedding day, the bridesmaids are just a little extra emotional support for me!

According to the etiquette books I've read, many "traditional" duties of bridesmaids are not actually requirements: it is not a requirement of bridesmaids to throw a bridal shower; it most certainly is not a requirement for bridesmaids to throw a bachelorette party; bridesmaids are not expected to be literal maids on the wedding day. I don't want my bridesmaids to feel obligated to do anything (duty or not) that they are uncomfortable or unable (financially or geographically) to undertake.

I have 4 lovely ladies standing up for me: Jocelyn, Emily, Kristy and Crystal. And I am so thrilled and honoured that they have accepted to be my bridesmaids! That is part of the reason I am struggling so much to find a great bridesmaid dress: I want something they will look and feel great wearing for a day.

P.S.1 I'm so excited to have them as bridesmaids, I've already started their gifts. I started about 3 months ago! I'm nuts, I know, but I have already had a lot of fun picking out ideas!
P.S.2 I do expect them to book the day of June 6th off work, but I'm sure they already knew that! :)
*I am not talking bride-zilla upset, but rather if I have a panic attack or overreact to something silly, my friends help me put things into perspective!

5 comments:

Guilty Secret said...

I like your attitude and I'm sure your bridesmaids will appreciate it too.

Krista said...

I hope so. It's supposed to be an honour, not a burden, so I want them to feel honoured!

Cyd said...

I concur! Bridesmaids are not maids at all nor soldiers in our own little bridal armies. Being a bridesmaid should be a thrill, an honor and never something over which to feel embittered.

Krista said...

Hehe, I'm giggling at the idea of bridesmaids being soliders in a bridal army. Ladies, attack!

Krista said...

... Joce ... you still reading this blog? ...

(Crickets singing)

She had been reading it ... I was going to ask what Joce (MOH) thought of this post.