Maid of Honour: Jocelyn

I did a "bridesmaid feature" on each of my three bridesmaids, Kristy, Crystal and Emily. But I never did a feature on Jocelyn, the best woman, aka the maid of honour.

Let me tell you about Jocelyn.

I have known her since grade 9. That would be September 1995. In many ways, we were (and still are) quite different. She is an only child, whereas I'm the oldest of 3. She didn't do sports or anything like that, which at that time seemed absolutely foreign to (I did organized sports such as baseball, swimming and figure skating). She had a job ... okay, a paper route, but that was pretty grown up when we were 14! She didn't even have a dog. Weird. :)

Later in university, her focus was on working so she didn't rely on her parents for her spending money. I worked, but I wasn't worried about avoiding financial assistance at all costs. If my parents could help me out, I would rather accept their help than get a loan. I don't know why, but it didn't bother me for my parents to help me out for school. (Within reason, of course.) So, yet another difference in our philosophies.

But it's not to say we're total opposites. We have similar values and similar goals We enjoy many of the same movies, and have similar tastes. So we're not cut out of completely different cloths.

Here's Jocelyn:


Jocelyn and I have had some ups and downs, grown apart and then grown back together. We've had sleepovers, visited each other at university, and became drinking buddies. Now we're usually coffee buddies (like yesterday morning). My, how things change. Not bad for a nearly 14 year relationship!

Getting Ready: At the hair salon!

We arrived at the hair salon at 9am. The five of us were booked with two stylists.

Maid Of Honour Joce sitting in the sylist's chair:

Maid Of Honour Joce mid-style:

Bridesmaid Crystal getting styled:

Bridesmaid Kristy getting her hair styled:

My hair:

Aren't I the show off?!


There are no pictures of Bridesmaid Emily getting her hair styled. All the pictures of her ended up blurry. I think she moved everytime her picture was taken. Or maybe I don't have steady photo-taking hands. Either way, I didn't think it was fair to put up a blurry picture of her!

The first stylist finished Jocelyn, Emily and I in less time than the other stylist did Kristy and Crystal. A lot less - about 45 minutes. I wasn't impressed with how much longer the other stylist took. Maybe the first stylist was really fast, so the other one seemed slow? I don't know. Kristy had soft curls put in her hair, which would take longer than most of the rest of our styles. But Crystal just wanted her hair styled the way she normally wear her hair, but with a little more pizzaz (of course). The stylist didn't think Crystal's hair would work - she said at Crystal's length, the hair wouldn't stay "straight" but would flip out. Except Crystal normally wears her hair straight and it doesn't really flip out. Anyway, hanging out at the hair salon put our getting ready plan a little bit behind time (less than 30 minutes) - but not catch-up-able! I just would have liked that "relax" time that I'd built into getting ready. Alas, it was not to be!

Bridesmaid Feature: Emily

You've met Kristy and Crystal, now I'm going to introduce you to Emily!

Em is an elementary school teacher who apparently knew she wanted to be a teacher when she was a kid. I think she was inspired by her parents, also both teachers. How do people know what they want to be when they're kids? I don't get it - I changed my mind about what I wanted to be every day - almost as often as I changed clothing! (When I was little, I sometimes changed twice a day when I bored of my outfit. Weird, I know. So if I can't pick clothing to last the whole day, I certainly couln't pick a career.)

Emily and I met when we were roommates - along with Kristy & Caroline. She took geography (social geography, not physical geography, as she recently reminded me) and English. She also took courses in German, because her mother's family is German - her grandparents emigrated to Canada after World War II. She was very excited to learn some German, then go with her grandmother ("Oma") to visit her extended family (including her great-grandmother) in Germany. Her plan was foiled when she discovered her family speaks the lesser-spoken Low German, whereas she learned High German. Fortunately, many of her third cousins or second cousins once removed (or whatever they were) spoke English.


P.S. You met Emily before, when I introduced you to her "slave labour" boutonniere making here.

Bridesmaid Feature: Crystal

In continuing with featuring our wedding party, slowly, I am following up with Bridesmaid Kristy by doing a feature on Bridesmaid Crystal!

I worked for a year contract doing health & safety for a big pharmaceutical company (at the time, the biggest in the world), at their manufacturing facility and quality laboratory in Small Town, Ontario.

During most of the time I worked for Big Pharma in Small Town, Ontario, I lived with Crystal in her gorgeous house. Just gorgeous. Crystal also worked for Big Pharma, doing some quality job. I forget her title, but she reviewed lab reports of lab tests to ensure the drugs were within the specified acceptable range. Let me tell you, there were no recalls when Crystal was on the job! I think most of her reports were for consumer products - lotion, mouthwash, hand sanitizer - so sometimes she got samples.

Crystal is from Cape Breton, a large island in the north of Nova Scotia. Cape Breton is known for its Scottish population, and there are lots of hints to the Scottish roots - including a college in which students speak gaelic!

This is a picture of Crystal and me at a barbecue / horseshoe tournament in July, 2007:

Crystal has since relocated from Small Town, Ontario to Big City Montreal. She now has a gorgeous loft condo instead of her gorgeous house. She is engaged to her high school sweetheart, Lawrence. She's a quiet girl, but lots of fun once you get to know her.

Bridesmaid Feature: Kristy

Bridesmaid Kristy is a very sweet girl. She's everything you want to be yourself: kind, compassionate, smart, empathetic, caring ... and she's a doctor. She's currently doing a residency in pediatrics. Yes, she's going to be a children's doctor. During med school, she managed to go to the gym reguarly, volunteer in a children's cancer centre, participate in other social functions, and do her 60-80 hours a week (or whatever it is they work) in med school. Now she volunteers as a mentor for med students, participates in a charity that provides medical aid to children in third world countries (anti-malarial medicine, maybe?), goes to the gym and works her 60-80 hours a week.

Don't you just hate her? :) Then you meet her and realize you absolutely adore her. She's fun, loving and adores crafting and baking. I met her at the end of first year university (March or April 2001) and then lived with her for 3 years. I was a little more messy then (okay, a lot more messy), but she likes things to be kept very clean, so I drove her nuts a few times. Now that I'm less messy, I feel very bad for that.

The "deadline" for everyone to pick their bridesmaid dress and get sized was coming, so I sent a reminder email out. Kristy responds, saying: "I'm sorry that I haven't been responding to your e-mails in the past couple of weeks. Things have been busy as usual, but that's not really any excuse. [...] I feel like such a terrible friend/bridesmaid, and I totally understand if you're frustrated with me. If you decide that I'm too much trouble & you'd rather have one less bridesmaid, I understand." I promptly emailed her back and told her that she was being silly!

I am honoured that Kristy is going to stand up for me at my wedding, and I know we'll have lots of fun getting ready together!

Here's a picture of Wade, Kristy and me on Canada Day 2007:

Bridesmaid Dresses and Suits versus Tuxedos

I've almost got the bridesmaid dress problem sorted out. I think I've narrowed down my choices to 3 dresses, with the help of MOH. Since BM Emily is visiting from Toronto this week-end, I am going to put her to work to look at those 3 dresses and see what she thinks.

Arg! It's such a hard decision!

And tonight, Wade & I are going to start looking at suits/tuxedos. I'm sure we won't decide tonight, but we have to start somewhere! I'm still not sure what look I want (dark grey suit versus black tuxedo) because I like both so much. So we need to make Wade try on some suits & tuxedos for me! I think he's partial to tuxedos, based on what he's said, but even within the realm of tuxedos there are many options.

Updated To-Do Lists

Last night, Maid of Honour (MOH) Joce & I went to look at bridesmaid gowns. After seeing all the super-cute bridesmaid gowns that are just regular dresses that girls wear on the wedding day, I had been looking around at stores as the Christmas dresses were being cleared out. However, I was unable to find a dress that did not scream "Christmas" or "holidays" or "New Year's Eve". So, I went back to the only real bridal store in town to look at dresses again.

This store carries After Six, Alred Angelo, and others. We looked at a couple Alfred Angelo dresses. In retrospect, maybe we should have looked at a couple After Six dresses; their dresses are so nice and flowy. But there were 3 Alfred Angelo dresses we liked - I let MOH have veto power, too. Honestly, I was trying to canvas my bridesmaids as much as possible about the different styles they would prefer to wear. It may be my wedding, but if they're shelling out $200 (egad! I'm asking my friends to pay that much for me?!) then I should at least make sure they'll like what they're wearing.

I've never been a bridesmaid. I can't wait to be one - to have that honour, to plan my friend's bridal shower, to have fun planning the games, to plan and go on her bachelorette party, and to wear a fun, matching dress. I love bridesmaids' dresses. I love taffeta, silk, organza, and I do enjoy pouffy, over-the-top silhouettes. And I look forward to wearing one. But I'm asking my bridesmaids to get their feedback, so they can wear something they like.

Here are some of the things my bridesmaids like / dislike:
-MOH Joce does not like much ornamentation, but she does like detailing (pick-ups, ruching, etc.).
-BM Emily does not like bows or sparkles on the front of dresses.
-BM Emily didn't like bows in the back of the dress, either.
-BM Kristy does not like low-cut ... well, none of the girls particularly like low-cut tops, but Kristy (ahem) really doesn't appreciate it!
-BM Kristy & Emily don't like low backs.
-No one seems to have a huge preference between floor length and tea length
-All 4 ladies have told me whatever I decide is fine (well, that may be, but I want them to be happy!)

Hence why my January poll (I seem to put up a poll every other month) is about dresses. Readers, tell me what you would like to wear as a bridesmaid!

Sweet girl!

I received a very panicked email from a bridesmaid the other day. She is also a maid of honour (MOH) in another wedding, two months after mine.

It seems this bridesmaid was thinking of going on a week-long vacation a full month before the other wedding. She was very concerned about the obligations of a MOH. Does she HAVE to ensure she's around at all times the month before a wedding to prepare for her friend's wedding? She truly wanted to know, and she knew I had the Emily Post Institute's etiquette guide.

I told her that she is not at the bride's beck-and-call a month before the wedding.

I gave her a link to the knot's list of MOH resposibilities, but I pointed out that technically (at least according to some of the etiquette advice I've read) the MOH / bridesmaids do not have to throw a bridal shower. It's nice if they can, and though many brides expect it, it is actually not a requirement (etiquette-wise).

I wouldn't expect my bridesmaids or MOH to be at my beck-and-call a month before hand! Sure, I'd like the ladies to help out when they can, but I'd hardly consider it a hardship if either my MOH or any of the bridesmaids was gone on a week-long vacation the month before the wedding. I mean, think of how many bridesmaids don't live in the same city as some brides.

What do you think? Good advice? And isn't she so sweet just to think about her friends so far in advance?

Bridal Party

In my blog-stalking (and I do a lot!), I have come across other brides (and occassionally grooms) who are confused by the idea of the bridal party. Not the idea of having bridesmaids and groomsmen, but rather the idea of forcing people to wear (sometimes expensive) matching outfits, pay a lot of money (through hosting bridal showers, throwing bachelor / bachelorette parties), and just generally run errands for the bride & groom.

I respect that some people do not want to ask friends to make such a commitment. And frankly, that is not what I would ask my friends to do.

I view the bridal party as unofficial cheerleaders.

Of course, I don't expect the bridesmaids to wear cheerleader skirts. And neither Wade nor I expects the groomsmen to wear any skirts! I mean cheerleaders in that the bridesmaids are there to support me (and the groomsmen to support Wade) on our wedding day.

Here's why I want a bridal party:
1. They may help me plan / do little diy craft projects
2. They will calm me down if I get upset, emotional, or irrational*
3. They will get ready with me
4. They will hopefully have fun getting ready with me
5. They will officially stand up with me when I get married

Though I know everyone who will attend our wedding is there to support Wade and me on our wedding day, the bridesmaids are just a little extra emotional support for me!

According to the etiquette books I've read, many "traditional" duties of bridesmaids are not actually requirements: it is not a requirement of bridesmaids to throw a bridal shower; it most certainly is not a requirement for bridesmaids to throw a bachelorette party; bridesmaids are not expected to be literal maids on the wedding day. I don't want my bridesmaids to feel obligated to do anything (duty or not) that they are uncomfortable or unable (financially or geographically) to undertake.

I have 4 lovely ladies standing up for me: Jocelyn, Emily, Kristy and Crystal. And I am so thrilled and honoured that they have accepted to be my bridesmaids! That is part of the reason I am struggling so much to find a great bridesmaid dress: I want something they will look and feel great wearing for a day.

P.S.1 I'm so excited to have them as bridesmaids, I've already started their gifts. I started about 3 months ago! I'm nuts, I know, but I have already had a lot of fun picking out ideas!
P.S.2 I do expect them to book the day of June 6th off work, but I'm sure they already knew that! :)
*I am not talking bride-zilla upset, but rather if I have a panic attack or overreact to something silly, my friends help me put things into perspective!