Bridesmaids with Upcoming Weddings and Upcoming Babies (NOT MINE)

Two of my four bridesmaids are engaged. One bridesmaid owns a house with her boy-friend. And the other bridesmaid left a long-term relationship last year. Of the engaged bridesmaids, both started dating their fiancés when they were teenagers, dated for several years, broke up for quite a while, then got back together with their guys relatively recently and got engaged relatively soon after. Or maybe it just feels like it was recent.

Of the engaged bridesmaids, one is probably getting married in 2011. They don't have the money or time due to other pressures to get married in 2010. The other is getting married on Hallowe'en this year. I don't think they're doing a masquerade ball theme; they just didn't have a huge selection of dates to choose from for this fall, and that day was available. I still think there's something "wrong" about having a wedding on Hallowe'en and not doing either a Hallowe'en themed wedding, a costumed wedding or a masquerade themed wedding, but that's just me!

The bridesmaid who lives with her boy-friend (one of the groomsmen, and a very good friend of mine, too) may or may not get engaged soon. I don't know. But I think they should. (Just my biased opinion.)

And the first of my cousins is getting married. I don't know when. His fiancée is Polish by origin, but grew up in Poland for a while then the US for a while. Currently, they live somewhere in the Middle East, but I think the plan is to move to Canada. So that's another fun wedding to look forward to! (I think they're doing the wedding somewhere in Canada.)

Also, I have two close friends who are due in late 2009 (one is the wife of our best man, and the other is someone I've known since grade 7, and I've known her hubby since grade 9). And I have two formerly close friends (now aquaintances) who are also due around the same time later this year (they're best friends, unknowingly got engaged 1 day apart then got married last year 2 months apart ... geez, they do everything together!) And a girl I went to school with from kindergarten to fourth year university is due around the same time later this year, too! - Though I don't see her much, I am happy for her, too. She's a great woman and will be a great mother. So there's lots of babies to celebrate, too! (That doesn't mean to expect anything from Wade and me right now ... so don't go getting any ideas! I'm just saying how happy I am for these women and their spouses.)

It's such an exciting time!

I get back from my honeymoon tomorrow. It's sad for a vacation to end, but it is always nice to be home. (Don't expect any posts for a couple days ... We probably have laundry to do, things to put away, and all that good "back from a vacation" stuff to do.)

Tables Themes

Oh yeah, I never told you about our table naming!

I originally wanted just numbers. It's easy. You aren't wandering around the room looking for Table "441" (named because the bride grew up at 441 Oak Street) or Table "Photography Club" (because the couple met in a photography club). If you use weird names, especially if it's a wide room, you can not use "seating" cards, by the way; you have to use a seating chart so people can actually see where their table is. I have been at weddings where I wandered around looking for my table. (Of course, if there are only two rows, you could just walk down the aisle, but I haven't often seen this set-up.)

The flipside: if you use basic numbers for tables, you can not use a seating chart. Have you ever sat at table 14 out of 14 tables? And the table is so numbered on the seating chart? Now everyone can look and see who's at the "reject" table. In the one case where this happened, I was not at the reject table. But I kinda felt like it because of the number and because it was on the chart.

I also knew I didn't want a seating chart, if at all possible. They just don't look as nice as escort cards.

But a few months before the wedding, we agreed on a "cute" table theme: animals. Since the room is two rows of tables (2 x 10), I figure people can just walk down the centre aisle to find their table based on their escort card. Our tables are: giraffe (head table), dog, zebra, flamingo, lion, tiger, elephant, monkey, turtle, frog and bee. Kinda silly, but oh well!

Coming up next: my last "scheduled" post on Friday! Then perhaps, I can tell you how the day actually went! :)

I forgot to do ...

A menu.

Darn. Hmm ... can I fit in the time to throw it together? I don't know. Or should I not do one and let people be "surpised" with each course?

Oh, and I finished folding the programs and binding them with ribbon tonight. They're pretty. Other than the formatting error. So as long as I don't open them up, I'm happy!

Things I'm done

-I got the guest book today (yep, I did it.)
-I dropped off the following at the venue: women's bathroom basket, men's bathroom basket, women's flip flop basket, card box, 10 tall centrepieces, 15 short centrepieces, 55 (or so) frosted glass votives with candles.
-Wade printed the programs.

Let me just say: I discovered Wade doesn't have a design eye; I thought he did, but he proved today that he does not. When his work email opened it, his computer didn't recognize the font, it changed it to a slightly different one. Wade didn't notice that 3 of the names had moved over slightly. So formatting is off for 3 people: Wade's parents and my Grandma have their names indented one more than my parents, brothers and Grandpa. You have no idea how frustrating this is for me. I also noticed a typo on my part: during the signing of the certificate, Schubert's "Ellens Dritter Gesang" will be played (aka Schubert's Ave Maria). I put in the program that "Ellen Dritter Gesang". I don't think anyone else will noticed (although if I was a guest at my wedding, I have to say that I would have noticed). It's not a big deal, I guess. But between that and the formating indentation (which is really bothering me), I'm a little disappointed. Not sad, not upset, just disappointed. (I have to say, Wade doesn't get it. He thinks I'm nuts. But that's how we perfectionists roll!)

Let me tell you about our bathroom baskets. They were fun to make!

Men's bathroom basket:
-A couple combs
-A lot of gum
That's it. I could have gotten black dress socks or something, but I figured most guys would be happy.

Women's bathroom basket:
-Hair brush
-Pantyhose / knee highs
-Multiple nail files
-Tampons
-Pantyliners
-Multiple little tubes of lip gloss (no one should share that, so there's more than one!)
-Band aids
-A lot of gum

Anyway, I'm going to fold the programs now. And everytime I look at that formatting error, my heart will break just a little. Okay, that's extremely melodramatic of me. My heart will be fine. But I will growl and be annoyed.

Things left to do (still):

-Get guestbook (yeah, yeah, I'm on it)
-Make programs (am awaiting some info from the minister)
-Get bathroom basket stuff

Um, I think that's it.

And Wade has to pack for both of us for the honeymoon. He's stressed by that one.

As I write this, I have Aquafresh Trays on my upper teeth and Crest White Strips on my lower teeth. I have two teeth on my lower mouth that the gums are *just* starting to receed, which makes them exceedingly sensitive if I whiten them. But I want to whiten them. My dental hygienist assures me that the home strips / trays are as safe as dental whitening or the dental prepared trays. She also says that efficacy (effectiveness) is about the same as the dental trays: in theory, they are less effective, but compliance is better, which makes them about as efficacious as the pofessionally prepared tras. Anyway, the reason I have the different types: the lowr strips are a lower concentration and are supposed to be used for two weeks. I'm only going to wear them for a few days, so it's not an issue. The upper strips are a higher concentration, so it works faster. And frankly, people only see your top teeth. (Oh, and I should also say - my dental hygienist also assures me they are safe if you follow the instructions, including not using them any longer or more frequently than recommended.)

Let me also say, I have whitened my teeth twice before over the past 3 years (much less frequently than the maximum). I am always happy with the results, but I already had pretty white teeth before I ever whitened my teeth, so "one shade lighter" is very noticeable.

Oh, and I shredded today. (I'm far too busy to find the link for you so you can see what I mean. Just google "30 Day Shred" to see what I mean.) It's totally getting easier. I tried level 2 on Sunday, but did level 1 with coworkers at lunch today. I kinda wish I had been this committed to my fitness a month ago, but oh well! The dress fits perfectly, so if I had done too much fitness, it might have been a problem.

Now I'm just rambling. Adios; I'll try to post tomorrow to let you know about my bachelorette.

Things done this week-end:

-Had a dress fitting (went well)
-Bought a card box (well, I bought a box that I glued the lid on and Wade cut a hole in)
-Had the groomsmen over for a barbecue and gave them their groomsmen gifts
-Bought flip flops at Old Navy for guests

The groomsmen each got a different "experience" themed gift based on their interests:
-Groomsman Greg like music, so he got a ticket to a Green Day concert (we "happen" to have tickets to the same show in seats beside his);
-Groomsman Dinger likes Nascar, so he got tickets to next week-end's Nascar race (he already knew he was going and thought he was paying for his ticket to next week-end's annual trip to Nascar; this was just a pleasant surprise);
-Groomsman Dave got tickets to a Toronto Blue Jays game (his wife had helped us pick out a date for them to go up);
-Groomsman Mark got a gift certificate for green fees for 3 rounds at a golf course near him (one of his favourite things);
-Best Man Ryan got a fancy-schmancy barbecue set and a gift certificate so that he can take his wife and two sons to the movies (two of his favourite things!).
They were all thrilled with their gifts!

Goals for this week:
-Finish the escort cards and place cards;
-Go over the ceremony with the minister;
-Book rail travel for Europe (if time permits);
-Practice our first dance;
-Pick up a guest book.

Sorry for whining ...

In spite of my very best intentions, I am busy with last minute things. Many of these things I could not do in advance - for example, the escort cards. Nonetheless, it is frustrating having done so much and yet having so much to do. Wade is particularly frustrated, wondering aloud how we could have gone from "being so far ahead" to feeling so far behind. He takes comfort in being reassured we couldn't do much of this in advance.

Don't get me wrong - I am not stressed. I feel pressures from having so much to do and being so busy, but I do not feel overwhelmed and stressed. I also had some big (and fun!) projects at work in the past month, which further reduced my spare time and increased my level of busyness.

Also, because of time constraints, I am not commenting on others' blogs. I still read them, thanks to the ease of google reader! But I just don't comment.

To those who follow who are married - whether recently or not, any advice on how to get everything done? Or any advice on how to continue to remain with excessive stres?

(Sent via my blackberry, from a train travelling for work. Excuse any typos.)

Happy Victoria Day!

It's May 2-4! A day off. Well, I don't feel like I was off today, but that's another story.

Marie-Ève got married this week-end. I went to 2 barbecues, went to Syracuse to go shopping, dropped off one dress for the Montreal bridesmaid (we met half-way, an hour and a half east of here), met another bridesmaid half-way to Toronto (for the Toronto & Hamilton bridesmaids) on a different day, went grocery shopping, finished booking the hotels for the honeymoon (I think), and finished the seating plan.

And I'm skipping aerobics tonight. I just don't have it in me!

Things Done, Things yet to do

Our guest list for the ceremony & dinner was about 120, of which about 105 are attending. We still don't have a couple replies, but the reception has said we have until next week to let them know. This number was limited by two factors: (1) the church is very small, and will be packed with this number, and (2) the dining room at our venue holds 115. (The room for dancing holds over 200, so we could have had our dinner there, but I liked the idea of dinner in a dining room, then moving to the other room for dancing. Plus, it tied in with the capacity of the church.)

But upon reviewing our guest list, and reviewing who is important to us, we just didn't feel right. We just felt awful excluding some people who were meaningful people to us. I made the suggestion we invite more people to the reception for dancing. We added another 25+ people to the reception - inviting co-workers, extended friends, and a few family friends. I feel really good about this decision. I wanted to be clear to these valued guests that they are there to help us celebrate - not to get more gifts. Consequently, the wording on the invitation invites them to "dance and celebrate" our marriage, and at the bottom (in lieu of a small "R.S.V.P." tag) it says "Best Wishes Only".

We feel really good about this decision, and hope that these guests feel honoured and pleased to help us celebrate. I hope they realize this isn't to get more gifts (as we aren't doing this wedding "for gifts") but rather to have them with us.

What I've been up to ...

SPOILER WARNING: if you are coming to the wedding and you want to be suprised by the meal, stop reading NOW!!!

Well, this week has been crazy. I had a visit with my specialist on Tuesday, who is based in Toronto. I was referred to her when I was living in Toronto in grad school, and since I like her and trust her, I haven't asked for a referral to someone closer to me! So, I took the train there and back in the same day. Yesterday, I spent half the day with my mom visiting her doctor. And got good news! Not great, but certainly better than most people hear. And today, I took a long lunch to meet with the reception venue to finalized the dinner menu.

So, I heard from a friend who was married at the same place we're having our reception that their cold peach soup is amazing. So, our soup course is cold peach soup. Our salad course is the standard garden salad with a cranberry vinaigrette. The dinner is choice of chicken, salmon, vegetarian, or kid's chicken fingers, served with Ontario wine. The dessert will be a fruit-pecan upside down cake with a caramel or rum drizzle. Apparently, the chef just came up with this recipe a few days ago (it's not on the menu yet!) and all the workers there couldn't stop eating it. So I was sold!

So, yay!

Escort Card Inspirations

This is what I'd like the escort cards to look like:






Later this week, you can find out how they turn out!

... Next Project ...

Sorry, internet was on the fritz last night. Our next project is escort cards! We started folding envelopes last night. I'll share pictures tonight.

Wade's bachelor week-end went well. He came back tired, but not too tired to avoid housework. (Wade does the laundry on Sundays, and does not like it when I do the laundry ... because I don't fold socks "right".)

For your pleasure, here's the Earth Week quiz I promised last week:

2009 Earth Week Quiz

1. What percentage of the world’s total water supply is fresh, accessible water?
a) Less than 1%
b) 5%
c) 15%
d) 25%

2. Ozone in the earth’s upper atmosphere forms a layer, but at ground level it is a primary component of:
a) Car exhaust
b) Dew and fog
c) Smog
d) Ozone doesn’t exist at ground-level

3. What can you do to improve the efficiency of your furnace?
a) Change the filters every two months
b) Replace your furnace if it's old
c) Install a programmable thermostat
d) a, b, and c are all correct

4. Which action has the greatest impact on reducing the threat of global warming?
a) Recycling
b) Reducing your energy use
c) Composting
d) Planting a tree every year

5. Which of the following produces the most oxygen?
a) Algae and archaea –microscopic ocean organisms, which are vulnerable to even tiny changes in the ocean temperature or current
b) Rainforests, which contain 82% of the world’s known biodiversity
c) Coniferous trees, such as pine, spruce and cedar, which continue to produce small amounts of oxygen in the winter
d) Deciduous trees, such as maple and oak, which produce oxygen in the summer

6. Growing trees captures carbon dioxide from the air and release oxygen. True or False

7. When trees are harvested (cut down or die), carbon stored in the tree is released back to the environment. True or False

8. How much could annual energy costs drop nationally if every Canadian household replaced one 60W incandescent bulb with a 20W compact-fluorescent bulb? (For example, you change your outdoor porch light to a compact-fluorescent bulb.)
a) $53 million
b) $63 million
c) $73 million
d) $73 thousand
(Our population is ~30 million, so multiply these numbers by "10" to get the American estimate - enery costs are similar so it'll be close. Note: you can't really multiply by "2" to get the British equivalent, because your energy costs are generally higher. Maybe multiply by "4" - that's my best guess!)

9. The biggest cause of tropical deforestation worldwide is:
a) Pollution
b) Wildfire
c) Clearing of lands for agricultural use
d) Natural extinction

10. The average NHL (National Hockey League) player generates how much pollution as a result of travelling with his team?
a) Ten tonnes of carbon per person
b) One tonne of carbon per team
c) Half a tonne of carbon per person
d) Ten kilograms of carbon per team

11. What is a carbon footprint?
a) The total volume of garbage created by your household
b) The total set of greenhouse gas emissions you create, both directly and indirectly
c) The total volume of recycling diverted from landfill by recycling
d) The total volume of compost diverted from landfill by your household composting bin

12. Which form of transportation creates the biggest carbon footprint, mile for mile (or km for km)?
a) Planes
b) Trains
c) Automobiles
d) Walking

13. If you merged all the cracks, gaps and unsealed openings in an average home, how big would the resulting "hole" be?
a) 14.3 square feet
b) 2.3 square feet
c) 1.2 square feet
d) 0.5 square feet

14. If a leaky faucet drips one drop per second, how much water will be wasted each year?
a) Just over 1 L (1000 mL or 4 cups)
b) Just over 10 mL (2 tsp)
c) Just over 100 L
d) Just over 1,000 L

15. If you must water your lawn, how should you water it?
a) In the morning, with a rotary sprinkler
b) In the evening, with a garden hose
c) In the afternoon, using a garden hose
d) You should not water your lawn

16. What kind of bake ware is the most energy efficient?
a) Metal
b) Silicone
c) Glass
d) Ceramic

17. What accounts for the most energy consumption in the average home?
a) Hot water
b) Heating and cooling
c) Lighting
d) Appliances

18. Approximately how many plastic bags do consumers worldwide go through in a year?
a) Approximately 1 million
b) Just less than 100 million
c) Approximately 100 billion
d) More than 500 billion

19. The average plastic grocery bag is biodegradable. True or False

If you're brave, put your answers in the comments! :)

One more venue

I forgot to tell you about one more venue I had looked at!

This local cruise line hosts weddings, rehearsal dinners, and private charters, as well as public boat cruises and dinner cruises around the 1000 Islands.

Pros: Beautiful scenery, fun venue, beautiful scenery :)
Cons: everyone gets on and disembarks at the same time ... meaning, older folks can't leave early and younger folks can't dance later!

Venue Searching

More "Back to Basics"

Wade went with me to a wedding show in Ottawa. We were there from 10am - 3pm, and he didn't complain. He got treated to a yummy lunch as thanks. I went to a wedding show with a good friend of mine in Toronto. (I figured 2 wedding shows in one month was too much for Wade.) At the wedding shows, we looked at photographers and d.j.s, mostly for ideas. Since we live in Kingston, I thought it unpractical to hire a photographer or other vendor from Ottawa or Toronto.

I started searching for venues, mostly on-line at first.

Reception sites I looked at on-line:

Cataraqui Golf & Country Club

-Pros: good view of Lake Ontario, nice decor, convenient location and good food. My dad used to be a member and he has many friends who still are - so I have eaten there many, many times.
-Cons: not sure if a country club was what I was looking for.

Fort Frontenac Officers' Mess

-Pros: amazing food and amazing views. I couldn't find any good pictures of Fort Frontenac on-line, but my friends Jane & Matt had their reception there. This is Jane, demonstrating the lovely views from the grounds. The food was amazing, the site was amazing. Overall - amazing.
-Cons: The trouble is finding a sponsor for the event - this officers' mess is a prestigious mess with select membership. I was also very worried I would associate this location with Jane & Matt too much. They rocked it for their wedding! We didn't look for a sponsor, though the event coordinator was amazing and willing to work with us! But in the course of these conversations with her, our venue fell into our laps.

Fort Henry

-Pros: A popular venue for weddings, somewhat expensive, often having to be held outside. Gorgeous views and very good food in a unique atmosphere.
-Cons: I was worried this venue is a bit of a cliche in Kingston - silly, right? Plus, if it's a cool evening, a tent can only provide so much insulation, and early June is sometimes still cool

Renaissance

-Pros: Good pictures on-line.
-Cons: A new venue, so I would have been booking site unseen. I seriously thought about this venue, but the prices seemed a little high. There were no views (kind of a priority). Plus, it's literally stumbling distance from the "clubbing district" (aka 4 clubs) in Kingston - not exactly a good feature.

Waupoos Winery

-Pros: amazing food, amazing view of the lake, on a winery that looks like it belongs in the caribbean. (Swoon.)
-Cons: A bit of a drive in Prince Edward County, about 40 minutes away from Kingston. Totally worth the drive. However, for the size of our wedding, we'd need to rent porta-potties. And the prices were more expensive than Kingston.

Basically, at this point I had just started looking everywhere for possible venues.

All photographs from each venues' websites, except Fort Frontenac, which is courtesy of Jane's facebook.

Exercise Follow-Up

Here is the exercise I had assigned us to complete.

These are the words we wanted to be used to describe our wedding:

Me:

• elegant
• fun
• memorable
• striking

Wade (with some prodding / checklists of words to pick from):

• friendly
• fun
• joyous
• momentous

Noticed we both picked "fun"? I remember that I picked my words, then Wade wanted to know what I picked. I think he wanted to know what I picked so he'd understand what he was supposed to do. When he learned that I'd picked "fun", he realized that was a word he wanted, too. I think he picked momentous when he wanted memorable, but he didn't want to copy me too much. Plus, I'm sure it will be momentous - for us, at least!

But I digress. The point of this "exercise" was not to create a list, but to consolidate our ideas to find out what we hoped our wedding day would be like.

Second Things Second

Did you think about your wedding before you got engaged? Be honest. Did you imagine yourself in a swath of tulle? Or a sheath dress? Saying your vows at sunset? Or walking down your church's aisle?

Not everyone thinks about his/her wedding before getting engaged. I may have thought about what my wedding might entail from time-to-time - definitely not very often and not with any real seriousness. However, like many women, I already had an idea of what a wedding entails, what flowers I like, or even what a boutonniere is.

This is not always so with some men (and some women, too!). I don't know if my dad knows what a "boutonniere" is - and he's been a groom once, a groomsman and a best man, and attended many, many weddings.

So, maybe the next thing you should do, after the engagement excitement has settled and you're ready to start planning, is to talk to your fiancé about what he wants, so you can formulate a common idea of the wedding.

Things to ask:
-If he has an idea of how many people he'd like present
-Where he wanted to get married
-Where he'd like to party

I find that Wade gets overwhelmed or confused if I ask too many open-ended questions in a row. So I give 3 or 4 options and let him pick from them. I usually make him tell me why he picked the one he picked, what he liked about it, and what he didn't like about the ones he didn't pick.

I actually gave him an assignment: pick 3 words that descibe the mood or emotions of the day. He had a "deadline" and a sample list that he could pick from (or pick his own). That gave me an idea of what he wanted.

I also gave myself the same "assignment".

First things first

First thing we did? We got engaged on Saturday, December 15th, 2007. My parents were hosting an open house style Christmas party that night. So we told them at the party when we arrived. I made sure to call both my parents to the door when we got in, then told them.

Since this party included most of my family and family-friends, that's how they all found out.

I read in an etiquette book that the first priority is to tell your parents. Do you really need to be told that? The same book says that if you have children, you tell them before you tell your parents. Again, did you need to be told that?

We couldn't tell his parents for a few days, but we did in person.

... I know announcing the engagement isn't technically planning, but it is the first thing!

Back to the Basics

This week, I'm going to talk about first things to get started in wedding planning. Based on my experience, I will tell you what I think should be done first, and what can wait.

Before I get started, I want to know:

• What things did you start planning first?
• In retrospect, was it the right place to start? Why or why not?
  

(I just had to show you my countdown)

(Click image to see a bigger version)

Wedding Planning

So here's the thing: wedding planning is still going on. Sort of. Currently, we have a "list" of things to get through in January.

So far, here's what we've done this month:
-Made centrepieces (here, here, here and finally here)
-Booked my transportation to the church and our transportation to the reception
-Decided on bridesmaid dresses
-Registered for gifts at 2 of the 3 stores
-Made boutonnieres (upcoming post will be done on this)

Still to do in the next 2-3 weeks (not quite all done in the month of January, but you know ... whatev!):
-Book our rehearsal dinner venue
-Order the tuxedos
-Register at the 3rd store (actually an affiliate of the 2nd store we registered at)
-Decide if we want a videographer or ask a friend to videotape
-Book our honeymoon
-Meet with our tentative day-of-coordinator to find out if she's a match with our personalities (I am already sure she is, but Wade needs to be sure, too)
-Book the florist

So, needless to say, we're busy. Almost every day is wedding planning / doing, in order to get things done. Plus, some other things have come up in our life, that, well, distract us from wedding planning. So, posts have been less interesting: many brief posts. So I apologize, but please keep reading - there's more to (slowly) come.