Fugly Fridays: It wasn't the dress that made her ugly

BRIDE OF DAY KILLS WOMAN.
Called Ugly by Wedding Guest, She Says - Glad She Did It.

LOGANSPORT, Ind., Dec. 3.- Elizabeth Lang, a bride of one day, to-night shot and killed Mrs. Mary Copple, who at the wedding supper last night, was alleged to have told other guests that the bride-groom had chosen an ugly and worthless woman for a life partner. Mrs. Lang was arrested shortly after the shooting. The police reported she made a fully confession and expressed pleasure that she had stopped slanderous remarks. In her confession, as reported by the police, Mrs. Lang said:
"Yes, I shot Mrs. Copple. I shot her down as her two little children stood beside her holding to her skirts. I killed her because she said that no man ought to marry me, and that my husband would repent.
"She said I was ugly. She said I was old. I killed her for that, and I am not a bit sorry for it. She was jealous of me and would have made my life un-happy."
The shooting followed a talk between Mrs. Lang and a woman friend, also a wedding guest, who had repeated the alleged remark of Mrs. Copple. Mrs. Lang went to the home of her father, told him the story of the killing, and telephoned for the police.

Go to this link for verification.

Now, while we judge this woman whose intent was ugly, we must also remember two things:
(1) In 1912, the pressure for a young woman to marry and produce offspring was high. A woman could not achieve success through career accomplishments, but through marriage. So such comments are quite serious offences.
(2) Mental health services were not what they are now. Not that they're always great now, but at least we have a greater understanding.

What Mrs. Lang did was horrible, but we don't know what other pressures she had. Did she have schizophrenia or depression? If so, today this murder might not have happened: recognition, assessment and proper treatment can reduce or elminate the symptoms of these awful diseases (though we still don't know causes of most mental health diseases, and not everyone responds to treatment, proper diagnosis is a start).

Canadian Mental Health Week (sponsored by the Canadian Mental Health Association) is May 4th through 10th.

For more information on mental health, go to any or all of these resources:
-Mental Health Department of Health (UK NHS)
-(UK) NHS Confederation of Mental Health Trusts
-National Institute of Mental Health (US NIH)
-World Health Organization (WHO) Mental Health

Fugly Fridays

Um yeah ... so I'm a little dumb. So I picked the name of these posts as "fugly fridays" because I liked the alliteration. I thought "fugly" was just a way of saying super-ugly or über-ugly or very-ugly.

Apparently not.

I just found out it is actually an abbreviation, or a portmanteau, of f...in' ugly. I'm not offended by swearing in some contexts. I do use swear words occassionally. I just try not to do so regularly, and I try to avoid it in print altogether.

I can't believe I didn't realize that. I'm a little naïve sometimes.

I also changed my focus on last week's post from pictures of horrendous weddings (and I would argue that the Fugly Fridays I featured were ugly to anyone's sensibilities) to featuring horrible stories. I also read a Buddhist teaching that if something is not beneficial, one should not say it. I'm not Buddhist, but I think many of its teachings are good, ethical ways to live, and are in balance with concepts in many religions, including Christianity. I think that ideal, of not saying things that are not beneficial, is a small step I can take to become a better person. Honestly, it'll be hard, but I'm going to try.

In that effort, I think that evaluating actions that I do not wish to embody is a better focus for my future "Fugly Fridays".

What do you think of this change? Will you still read the posts?

P.S. I will still look at those pictures of the ugly dresses and wonder, "what was she thinking?" Don't get me wrong here!

Fugly Fridays: Bridezillas

I have seen on countless blogs girls who bemoan "the dreaded bridezilla". But how many of us become bridezillas? Does anyone who actually act outlandishly realize they are doing so? I don't think so, personally. People can't actually realize they're acting the way they are.

So what is a bridezilla? According to wikipedia, bridezilla is a portmanteau of the words bride and Godzilla (yeah, you probably figured that out). It is a generic term used to describe a difficult, unpleasant, perfectionist bride who aggravates family, friends and bridal vendors in the course of planning her wedding. A bridezilla attempts to achieve a "perfect" wedding day.

Are you trying to achieve a "perfect" day? Do you view your wedding day as "your big day"*?

If so, these are red flags that you may become a bridezilla.

Your day will not be "perfect"**. It just won't be. Get over it. But if you have a good attitude, it can be a great day, regardless of weather, your future husband's cousin showing up in an ivory dress (honestly, who does that?!), or even if you (gasp) trip and fall while walking down the aisle (as long as you're not hurt, you should laugh this off).

The next view "Fugly Fridays" will deal with the "bridezilla" nature.

Let me leave this post with a story, as I'll try to do for all bridezilla posts:

"L" and "B" are friends. B is known for being thrifty (ahem - cheap). B becomes engaged and asks L to be a bridesmaid. L and B, and the other bridesmaids, go dress shopping. B finds a bridesmaid dress she likes, though L doesn't like it, she doesn't say anything (not being her wedding). Two days later, B asks L to no longer be a bridesmaid because L doesn’t look right in the dress.

*Yes, I know that in my blog title I say that this blog is the "journey to our big day". But do I view it as "my big day"? I'll let you judge that for yourself.

**Note: with a positive attitude, in retrospect your day might seem like it was perfect, in spite of any glitches. Just be prepared to roll with those punches if you need to!

Fugly Fridays 4:

Isn't this a charming picture?

Source: dailyhaha.com

Yes, this is the exact image we'd all hoped the photographer would catch on our wedding day. Clearly, his rude action turned his bride into a screaming banshee (as demonstrated through her screaming monster look).

Not-so-Fugly Friday: "Rings that I do Like"

Here's a post to serve as a counter-post to today's Fugly Friday post. "Rings that I do like."

To counter the 1.5 carat heart-shaped ring from Zales, I like the 1.5 carat pear-shaped ring from Zales for $9899: I also like the 1.5 carat marquise ring from Zales for $6899 (you may recall that Zales has a 3+ year payment plan): For those who find the marquise cut too "pointy" but don't like the pear-shape, this 1.5 carat oval-cut ring from Zales is another lovely option for $6899:

As an alternative to the identity-crisis crossover band, I would go for one of these three options (left is $349, centre is $379, right is $999) all from the The Shopping Channel:











For the final ring, which is multiple smaller diamonds grouped together to give the appearance of a larger diamond, I didn't like the shape (square diamonds making a rectangular shape). However, I like this ring from Charm ($799):

Just some ideas, to give you an idea of what I do like. So you don't think I'm totally negative.

Fugly Fridays 3: Jewellery

Well, I am running out of content for Fugly Fridays. The reason is that I am trying to differentiate between what is truly ugly and what is personal taste. There is a huge difference, and I don't wish to insult someone's style because it's not mine! I think we would all agree that last week's Mother-of-the-Bride and the first week's brides were just ugly. But sometimes what someone thinks is ugly is actually just not their taste.

I'm going to do a post on engagement rings that I find tacky, clichéd, or otherwise dislike.

This ring is a cliché. I don't particularly like hearts, but I outright dislike heart-shaped diamonds. I find myself surpressing an urge to gag when I see someone wearing this:
Source: Zales. This ring is available for $12,899 USD, or if you have a Zales card, you can get it for $387 per month. If you somehow got a zero-interest Zales card, it'll only take 33 1/3 months to pay off. So this ring will take you 3 years to pay for!

This ring looks like the designer could not decide on which style, so a multi-styled ring was created. I don't like the ring because it looks like someone couldn't decide on what they wanted, so it became a hodgepodge:
Source: The Shopping Channel. This ring is just $119. That's because it's made with authentic diamonelle. Diamonelle is The Shopping Channel's own brand of cubic zirconia.

I don't actually mind the next ring. In fact, it's not bad! I just find that the type of woman who wears this style is often wearing lots of other jewellery. You know, with an average of 4 rings per hand, and possible a couple strands around the neck, or one strand with several pendants. And too much jewellery looks gaudy together.
Source: Charm. This ring sells for $999.

This ring isn't bad. I just think it's too big. Unless you're 6'2" and have a large frame, this ring has huge potential to look big and out-of-place. You know, where the ring extends to your knuckle:
Source: diamondringforever.com. This ring is "just" $14,400. I presume that's American dollars.

I'm not sure what it is I don't like about this ring. I suspect it's that it's the square (rings) meshed into a rectangular shape. I'm picky that way. I like emerald-cut, princess cut and even (in the right setting) oval-cut. But this is just all over the place. It's princess-cut in an uneven setting (2x3) trying to emulate an emerald cut.
Source: Charm. This ring sells for $799. That's one major advantage of having several smaller diamonds into a ring: you save a lot of money.

What do you think of my ugly-ring pronouncements? Do you have any fugly rings to share? Send me the link in the comments section or email me the file: a (dot) canadian (dot) bride (at) gmail (dot) com.

I'll return to my regularly scheduled engagement story on Sunday.

Fugly Fridays 2: Mother-of-the-bride

Today's "fugly fridays" is on the theme of mother-of-the-bride dresses. As you may have noticed, mother of the bride dresses (and mother of the groom dresses) tend to look like this:

which on real people (not models), turns into this:

and this:

Doesn't everyone look happy? I think so. These women may be traditional and conservative, but I'm thinking the clothing is similar to what they would wear to any formal occassion.

However, this look is not for every mother of the bride / mother of the groom. Here's proof:

Yes, that is the mother of the bride, who forgot to put a top over her push-up bra.


Update: did anyone notice that in the normal family photo (second photo in the post, with the bride & groom, both parents, bride's sister, groom's brother and groom's grandmother) the mother of the groom was wearing ivory? I only posted the picture looking at the mother of the bride (in the blue dress), but upon looking more closely, I noticed the mother of the groom is in an ivory dress.

Fugly Fridays 1

Think of Fugly Fridays as Friends don't let friends wear/do this at their wedding. Of course, if the person making the questionable decision is not a close friend of yours, you do not have permission to question the bride to her face, nor do you have permission to publicly denounce her choices. You keep those thoughts to yourself or save them for a blog. That's what nice people do. We may not like those rules, but we are aware that we want to be nice people. And if we're ever in doubt, we try to read a little Emily Post or Miss Manners.

But if it's a close friend - tell her kindly but honestly why we are concerned about her choice. That's just what nice people do.

Consider that my rider.

So this is my first post on Fugly Fridays. I'll be honest, I don't know how long this post will last because I may run out of material. I've posted on ugly dresses here and here. After another couple posts, I may run out of ideas.

My aunt forwarded me an email with this dress in it: I was absolutely shocked, but was "lucky" enough to find it again on tackyweddings.com.

Why didn't anyone tell this girl that her boobs were hanging out? Or did she not have any friends? Honestly, because if I had a friend who looked like this, I would at least try to tell her that she forgot to put on the top of her dress.

I thought this error must be so egregiously obvious that no one else could possibly have forgotten to wear a dress that covered her breasts?

But alas, I was mistaken. This poor girl also did not notice that either her boobs were hanging out or that she forgot to put the top of the dress on:
Dress also from tackyweddings.com.

And hey, I just noticed that I'm over 100 posts: this is my 101st post. Wow, I have a lot to say. Or I just like to read my own thoughts. Either way!