Second Things Second

Did you think about your wedding before you got engaged? Be honest. Did you imagine yourself in a swath of tulle? Or a sheath dress? Saying your vows at sunset? Or walking down your church's aisle?

Not everyone thinks about his/her wedding before getting engaged. I may have thought about what my wedding might entail from time-to-time - definitely not very often and not with any real seriousness. However, like many women, I already had an idea of what a wedding entails, what flowers I like, or even what a boutonniere is.

This is not always so with some men (and some women, too!). I don't know if my dad knows what a "boutonniere" is - and he's been a groom once, a groomsman and a best man, and attended many, many weddings.

So, maybe the next thing you should do, after the engagement excitement has settled and you're ready to start planning, is to talk to your fiancé about what he wants, so you can formulate a common idea of the wedding.

Things to ask:
-If he has an idea of how many people he'd like present
-Where he wanted to get married
-Where he'd like to party

I find that Wade gets overwhelmed or confused if I ask too many open-ended questions in a row. So I give 3 or 4 options and let him pick from them. I usually make him tell me why he picked the one he picked, what he liked about it, and what he didn't like about the ones he didn't pick.

I actually gave him an assignment: pick 3 words that descibe the mood or emotions of the day. He had a "deadline" and a sample list that he could pick from (or pick his own). That gave me an idea of what he wanted.

I also gave myself the same "assignment".