Gender Roles?

A Practical Wedding: Mmmm.... gender stereotypes

I re-read this post from one of my favourite blogs, A Practical Wedding. I have to say, I agree wholeheartedly with Meg. Gender roles, and all the associated stereotypes, proliferate in the wedding industry. I don't think it's fair to make assumptions based on one's gender.

So why am I calling this blog "Canadian Bride"? I have tried to convince Wade to post, but he's not interested*. This blog is entirely from my perspective. However, the day that I convince him to guest-post (if that happens - I'm trying!), the blog name may change to "Canadian Bride & Groom". :) In the meantime, it stands as my opinion only.

Anyone who's been reading this for a while knows that I initially called this blog "Journey To The Big Day", as I mean for this blog to document our process from engaged to married. But that seemed like a clichéd idea. So Canadian Bride it became ... And remains, unless & until Wade participates.




*Although not interested in blogging, Wade is very involved in the planning. He is no ken-doll bride who is just showing up the day of our wedding! So far, the only thing he has no interest in is the flowers. He said that flowers just don't interest him. Otherwise, he's been as involved as I have been, in every aspect.

The happiest day of my life?

Has anyone else been confused by a woman who is planning a wedding to be the happiest day of their life? I mean, really? In 2005, the average of a woman getting married in Canada is 31*. The average woman will live to 82*. So that means that you will have 51 more years of not having any day as potentially happy as your wedding day? And what about the 31 years leading up to your marriage? No days in there that might in fact have been at least as happy as on your wedding day? There is nothing that has the potential of your wedding day on the happiness scale?

I have never understood that mentality. I have never understood expecting your wedding to be the happiest day of your life. Ever. It just gives me the message that a woman getting married outranks every other potential or real accomplishment in her life.

I considered my graduations to be very important and happy days in my life, celebrations of years of hard work. I remember a great day at Canada's Wonderland in 1996. Wade & I had a really fun couple of days in London in April 2005, when he came to visit me after I had lived in England for 4 months. I hope to have days like this after I get married.

And while I'm sure the wedding is going to be up there on the list of happiest days ... I don't expect it to be the single happiest day of my life.

Please comment on this post.
For those who are married: was your wedding the happiest day of your life? Or is it a tie with other great days?
For those who are not married: do you expect your wedding day to be the single happiest day in your life? Why or why not?
I'd like to know what others think about a wedding being the happiest day in your life.


*The statistics above are on the CBC's websites:
http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/marriage/
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2008/01/14/death-stats.html
In both cases, the CBC's source is Stats Canada 2005.

The traditional wedding ... is it necessary?

I don't think that it's the traditions that make a wedding. I think the most important thing about a wedding is that a couple commits to each other in front of loved ones. Whether it's an intimate wedding at the family home or cottage or a formal ballroom soirée for 200, the single most important detail is the couple in love!

So, I don't think traditions are necessary. I, however, enjoy many traditions. I do give serious thought to every aspect of the wedding. I want a day that Wade & I can enjoy. We both want our family & friends to be able to enjoy the day, too. We definitely want to come of it with money left in our bank accounts; we are NOT going into debt for one day. But we do want a day that we'll both remember as the day we started the next chapter of our lives.

There is nothing I do because it is "traditional". We want to get married in front of our family and friends, followed by a party that everyone can enjoy! I do appreciate the symbolism of many traditions, and I give serious thought to the reasons behind the tradition.

For example, I am not going to spend the money on some monstrous cake creation. It just doesn't make sense to me to spend hundres of dollars (that is what they cost today!) on a cake that 10 people will try. Most people avoid cakes at a wedding because they don't usually taste good! So I'll have a cake that is yummy. I have had lots of pieces of cardboard cake. The best cake I have ever had at a wedding was baked by the bride herself - go Teresa - from a Betty Crocker mix! It was a great cake! And while I like the idea of cutting a cake together, it's not because of the symbolism of fertility from the Roman times, but the idea of sharing everything for the rest of our lives.

I also like the look of a traditional invitations. All invitations I've received are not traditional. Believe it or not, all weddings I have attended were preceeded with a funky and colourful invitation or a folding pocket-style invitation. Yet, I love the look of a more tradition invitation. And I have fallen in love with the look and feel of letterpress invitations, even if it is more expensive than other invitation printing techniques. I don't know if I'll decide to splurge on letterpress invitations, but if I do, here's some of the styles that have caught my eye:

Source: Marsville Letterpress

Source: jkl Creations

Source: papeterie

Source: Bella Figura Letterpress

Wedding Dress Transportation

I consider my two authorities on weddings to be Martha Stewart* and Emily Post**.

Martha Stewart Weddings has a blog maintained by its incredible editor, called The Bride Guide. The blog recently had a very timely post on transporting wedding dresses. I was lucky enough to read this just before the drive to Montreal, which helped me out! If you'd like to read this blog post, click on this link.

*Martha Stewart Weddings is editted by the amazing Darcy Miller. Darcy is my source for wedding planning as much as Martha is.
**Emily Post's most recent edition of the book Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette was written by great-granddaughter-in-law Peggy Post.

Wedding Dress Pick-Up

My wedding dress is safely stored in the "Leaf" room (the spareroom, where most of our Toronto Maple Leafs Paraphernalia is currently stored).

I was talking to my mom on the drive there/back, on a range of topics. One issue I asked about was her wedding dress. When she purchased her dress, it cost around $200. She purchased it on sale, but it's regular price was nearly $1000 (in 1978 dollars). Not surprisingly, Mom says she was quite pleased with her purchase! On another note, my parents celebrated their 30th anniversary this past Tuesday.

I did not get such a great deal on my dress - that deal was something to brag about! However, when I purchased the dress, it was on sale for about the same price as my mom's dress would have cost had it not been on sale.

Here's what my dress does not look like:


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Dress

Tomorrow (or later today, technically) I'm kidnapping my mom, driving 3 hours, and picking up my dress. That should be fun!

Wish me luck!

Live from Hollywood ...

... It's Dancing With The Stars!

I fell in love with this show last fall/winter when I was renting a room from a lovely artisan in Galetta (near Ottawa). She enjoyed this show, so I would often watch with her without high expectations. And whaddayaknow? I love it!

I also mentioned to Wade a while ago that we may need to take ballroom dancing lessons for our first dance. It's the thing to do, I told him, as if that's a good reason to do something. Really, I think it'd be a fun couple's activity to do. Something we could learn together.

But I may have given him a way "out" of dancing lessons.

See, Wade has the most hilarious impression of Mick Jagger. When it's just us, and The Rolling Stones is playing, he totally hams it up. But not in front of anyone else. In the middle of laughing over his impression recently, I told him that if he does his amazing impression at our wedding reception, he could get out of dance lessons. Wade seemed interested in the idea.

Personally, I think it'd be worth it for everyone to see how great the impression is!

I won't give up on a fun social activity. Maybe Scottish country dancing? His background is Scottish, and he's interested in Scottish culture. I learned a little bit of Scottish country dancing when I was in England (oh, the irony) and I'd love to do it again!

Any other thoughts on fun couple's activities (preferably physical activities, such as sports or dance)?

In the meantime, the show's back from commercial:

More Peonies

Peonies are more expensive than many other flowers, especially when they're not in season. They will *probably* be in-season when we get married. I say "probably" because their season is so short - a cool or hot spring could impact when they're in season! So we may need to consider peony alternatives, for cost consideration. More on peony alternatives on another day.

For now, here's some more peony goodness:

Luscious Pink:

Blush:


Another Pretty-in-Pink Peony:


Coral & Lush:



... Don't these peonies just make you swoon?!

I (heart) peonies!

And this is why:

Dress

I have had friends who ordered wedding dresses well in advance of their wedding, only to have the dress arrive very, very late. One friend, in fact, ordered the dress to arrive months before the wedding, but the dress didn't arrive until the week before her wedding!

So, being afraid of that scenario, I ordered my dress in March of this year and told the bridal shop that my wedding was in February. They told me the dress would arrive in September. But, lucky me, it's arrived!

I haven't picked up the dress yet (it's in their storage), but it's nice to know that I can!

Whew!

I was panicking ... I was already worried ... People told me I have tons of time, that I shouldn't worry or panic so early ... I thought I might be going insane ...

It turns out I'm normal (when it comes to wedding planning, anyway).
Click here for proof I'm normal.

If the link doesn't work: enter this website into your browser: http://www.weddingbee.com/2008/09/04/bridesmaid-dresses-wedding/

Colour of Bridesmaid Dresses

So ... BLUE dresses won the bridesmaid's dress poll. But I don't always go with what's popular. You'll have to wait and see what I have!

Have you voted on the new poll? It's on favours. In this case, Wade & I really don't know what to do for the favours. The poll is in the left-hand column, so if you know what you like, let us know!