Kelly Hildebrandt, you may now kiss ... Kelly Hildebrandt!

No, this isn't like when Dennis Rodman dressed in drag and married himself!
(If you don't know what I'm talking about, google "Dennis Rodman wedding".)

You should read this article: http://www.cbc.ca/cp/Oddities/090721/K072106AU.html. Now, I am not the biggest supporter of marrying so young (20 and 24 respectively) particularly after knowing each other for such a short period of time (they met last year). But it is a neat story.

What's in a name? Again

I've talked about how to change your name (here and here) but I didn't talk about what I'm doing.

That's because I don't know! I always assumed I'd hyphenate my name. Yes, that what I'd assumed I would do. I didn't see the point of changing my name. My name is mine. But I also didn't see the point of "refusing" my husband's name. My ultimate would be if he took my last name as a second middle name. But that's not going to happen. Wade is not very traditional about many things - he does our laundry and packs my lunch every day. He will support whatever I do, but he is not adding my last name into his name. (And that's fine with me.)

But it seems like every other blogger posts about how stupid "hyphenating" your name is. They say it means you couldn't decide what you wanted to do, which is not the case with me, and I know I shouldn't be swayed by someone saying this, but I was. (Frankly, in my experience, most women who dislike hyphenation are the same women who always "knew" they would change their name.)

So what to do? I could always embrace the old-fashioned allegedly "Scottish" tradition (I can't find anywhere I can cite, but I'm sure I read that somewhere) ... Scottish women traditionally did not change their name.

What will / did / would you do?

A name?

Most of you agree that changing your name on your birth certificate for marriage is weird. Most women don't go that route.

I forgot to mention: you're allowed under option #4 to create a new name. Jane Smith is marrying John Jones - and they want a new surname. Go for it! It's now Jane & John Allegro ... ideal for two music lovers.

I've never heard of a couple marrying going that route, but it is an option!

What's in a name? Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet?

Always a Bridesmaid, Never A Bridezilla has an interesting post about changing one's name here. There are numerous name-change services out there. For just a "small fee", they will make sure you have the right forms, or even change your name for you.

After reading WeddingBee, I discovered how hard changing, or not changing, one's name is in the US. I will have to find the post (and I don't have the energy to do so right now), but one Bee had to pay TO KEEP HER MAIDEN NAME. What?! That's crazy.

I looked into it in Ontario, my province. In Ontario, you have several options. One is expensive, the others are not. I will use Jane Smith marrying John Jones as an example.

If you want to change your name, you can go with option # 1 or # 2:

1) You can change your name. That means your birth certificate is changed. So Jane Smith would change her name to Jane Jones, and she would get a new birth certificate that says "Jane Jones". She would have to pay to change her name on the birth certificate. Then Jane takes her marriage certificate and birth certificate to the other agencies. She goes to an Ontario Healthcare Office to change her health card (free). She can also change her driver's license by going into an MTO office. Jane can also change her SIN (social insurance number) by taking her SIN card and marriage certificate into a Service Canada Centre. Take that same marriage certificate and your other i.d. into the bank to make a name change there. Done!

2) You can assume your spouse's last name. Jane's birth certificate still says "Jane Smith", but she will be known as Jane Jones. Jane uses her marriage certificate or certified statement of marriage as proof she has, in fact, married John Jones. She changes her health card (free) by going into an Ontario Healthcare Office, then goes into an MTO office to change her driver's license. Jane can change her SIN by going into a Service Canada Centre. Finally, head to the bank to make a name change there. Done!

You want to hyphenate your name? Go with option #3.

3) You can hyphenate your names. Jane's birth certificate still says "Jane Smith", but she will be known as Jane Smith-Jones or Jane Smith Jones. Jane uses her marriage certificate or certified statement of marriage as proof she has, in fact, married John Jones. She changes her health card by going into an Ontario Healthcare Office. She can also change her driver's license by going into an MTO office. Jane can also change her SIN going to a Service Canada Centre. Then head to the bank with your i.d.! Done.

You want to create a new name, based on your & your spouse's name? Go with option #4.

4) You can merge your names. Jane's birth certificate still says "Jane Smith", but she will be known as Jane Smithones or Jane Smones, or whatever she wants. Jane uses her marriage certificate or certified statement of marriage as proof she has, in fact, married John Jones. She changes her health card by going into a Ontario Healthcare Office; then changes her driver's license by going into an MTO office; she changes her SIN at a Service Canada Centre; then goes to the bank to make a name change there.

Yep, numbers 2, 3 and 4 are quite similar. Identical, I'd say. Whatever you change your name to (if you change your name) is fine, as long as you consistently use your new name. And whether you're female or male, the rules are the same. So if John Jones agrees to hyphenate his name to John Smith Jones, or change it to John Smithones, it's the same process.

There is a cost for changing your driver's license, I think. Or you can leave it until it's next renewal, and then change it then. Just claim you forgot to do it earlier when your marriage certificate shows you were married a couple years ago! :)

Most women in Ontario follow numbers 2, 3 or 4. Rarely would a woman follow #1. I don't think men often hyphenate or modify their names. There are so many reasons not to "change" your name (option #1). First, it costs money. Second, it changes your birth certificate, which is kinda stupid. Third, it's a lot (a LOT) more work than the options. Finally, if (God forbid) something happens and you get divorced, it's very difficult to change your name back (if you so desire). But I think the first two reasons are the best arguments for "assuming" a name instead of "changing" your name in Ontario.

Thanks to the Professional Bridesmaid for inspiring me to write this post!

P.S. You don't have to pay to keep your name in Ontario.